I smiled through my tears.
That sounded exactly like Thomas.
Then the attorney reached into his desk drawer.
“I almost forgot.”
He placed one last envelope on the table.
Across the front, in Thomas’s handwriting, were two words.
“After Tuesday…”
I smiled through my tears.
“He asked me not to give you this until after his funeral.”
I didn’t open it there.
***
That evening I carried the envelope to the little park across from my apartment.
I opened it slowly.
Inside wasn’t a letter.
Just a folded sheet of notebook paper.
I didn’t open it there.
A list.
Botanical Garden
Farmers’ Market
Ice cream from Oakridge Street
Feed the ducks even if they ignore you
I laughed before I realized tears were already rolling down my face.
Feed the ducks even if they ignore you.
At the very bottom he’d written: “Ordinary Tuesdays are where life quietly hides.”
I looked around the park.
Children were chasing pigeons.
Someone walked a sleepy golden retriever.
An elderly couple argued cheerfully over a crossword puzzle.
Life hadn’t paused.
Only I had.
Life hadn’t paused.
***
The following Tuesday, I went to the botanical garden.
Afterward I wandered through the farmers’ market. Bought peaches I didn’t really need.
Then drove to the little ice cream stand on Oakridge Street.
Vanilla.
Thomas had guessed correctly.
It was my favorite.
Thomas had guessed correctly.
On the way home I stopped beside the lake.
The ducks ignored me completely.
I laughed out loud.
People stared.
For once, I didn’t care.
The ducks ignored me completely.
***
Months passed.
But I haven’t learned how to fix grief.
Because Thomas never had.
He had only taught me something much smaller.
